unbelievable.............

4 times a day he calls me...........ISD.........

OH MA GOD..........

is he getting more serious?

mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

may be for the first few days...........

yeah till he get somecompany ther..........

wen his classes starts n he get busy he ll graduali change.

wait n see.............

MOHINI ANTONY.

on my much repeated requests he came on a visit..........

and left me again in another dellemma..........

the fact that he is too short in size never bothered me ,as i have no plans to marry him...........

but .........the question that he threw into my heart stuck there like an arrow n it reali pains me a lot........

scene took place in the railwaystation,as he was about to depart,

i was standing beside the window  as he was lucky to get a side seat,the train was about to leave ,at that last moment holding my hands together he asked me"hi moni,i know that im not much impressive,n too short for u, will u reject me for that single reason da?"........

OH MY GOD,SO WHEN I REJECT HIM AT THE END HE LL BE THINKING LIKE THAT...........

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO..........

it reali pains me..........

what a situation it ll be?

my love towards him is 101% pure n its eternal n platonic.............

its an intense feel above all wordly attractions.........

ll he believe?

oh my god.......

anyways god saved me from ansering him,train was already moved,walking back home ,leaving his waving hands far beyond the eyes i was thinking.......

against my calculations if he comes back after one year from australia,what ll i say?

suddenly a very cruel .rotten thought came into my mind,

shall i tell him "bachu u r too short for me?

ha.ha.

nice ...........

good going moni..........

NO

I DONT THINK HE WILL COME BACK.........

ONE YEAR IS NOT A SHORT PERIOD TO GET NEW FRIENDSHIPS AND WY SHOULD HE COME BACK TO ME LIKE A MARRIED AND MOTHER OF TWO GROWN UP GIRLS....NO WAY..

whatever it may be he is also a young boy of this new technically and electronically devoleped generation..........

he wont do such a big hattric comody.........

SURE.......SURE....SURE.......

SO MY DEAR HEART N SOUL REST IN PEACE..........

MOHINI ANTONY...........

again bak home............

as usual..............

long leave..................

feel gud................

anna also at home..................

i wonder,what i get sitting home?

my BOSS also ask me the same question...........

no answer with me..............

iam like this ,from begining itself.............

taking breaks..................

from everything...............

again start .............

its thrill ......................

this is the one n only reason why i don try for a government job....................

anyways i gona injoy this short break with my family.....................

left my secret mobile in the office.........................

changed th password of my secret id,blindfoldedly................

yea,BREAK.............from evrything.......................

ME,MY ANNA,ANTONY ......................

planing a family trip..................

a short trip............

only few holidays antony got.............

three days.........enuf.................

mohini Antony

The least expected thing happened last day..........
The worst thing in ma life.............

of course out of sheer carelessness..........


no need now regretting.........happened is happened...........

i thinK he(MA HUSBAND) got doubts some one week back itself......

his night shift was going on...we(ME N MY LOVER) found it a golden chance for our night talkS...........

normally when HE goes for night duty,he use to lock the door from outside itself,so that if he comes earlier he can enter the flat without disturbing me.........

but last week i told him i ll lock it from inside.....as i had to talk to my lover,  wanted to avoid HIS sudden appearance.........

when he asked me for the reason i gave some lame excuses,i think he got all the more doubt full......

morning wen  came HE asekd me"are u hiding something from me?.........what r u doing inside?why u dont allow me inside earlier like?.u only told u want to sleep without disturbance n now why u r coming n opening door?.......whats up here?..tell me........dont make me a watch man of my own house ok?........ha ha......

oh my god...oh my god........

i was sure he was not laughing at all.....

it was just an ex-pression of his frustration.....

i decided to tell him the truth.......i was sure otherwise his thoughts will go uncontrollable.......result ll be a disaster........i told him that i was chatting with my frnd.......he smiled n asked "whats wrong in that?otherwise also u talk to them over phone u never hide from me?then?
i had no words..........

he checked the duration of calls, aghastedly he looked at me..........."so u were taking overnight?oh my god...........what u had to talk this much?"

i didnt say anything.........so embarrassed that  couldnt even lift up my face.........it was for the first time in ma life i found myself in such a disgustful situation.....

i wondered what happened to me?why im like this?actuali what im i getting frm all these things?........BULLSHITT.....i must stop...these days how much pain i takes..........keeping a mobile hiding.....talking to him hiding.........skipping sleep unnecessarily.......welcoming dark circles n wriggles as a gift.....why shd i "scorn delights(my sweet sleep) n live laborius(dozing in the office) days".....yes i must woke up from this wonder land of Alice n join back my world of realities............

i think my helpless situation touched Antony ..........

he asked me to sit on the bed and asked me about the talks we normally have.......i told him "nothing just casual..."
then he looked on the clock it was quarter to 3.....then he put the mobile in speaker mode and asked me to call my boyfrnd and continue the talk......

oh my god.......what an ordeal.........

he told "call him n talk just casual talk na?then wy u worry?.call.....

yes i also thought wy i worry?..afterall its all casual exept some...... i love u..me too..darling............n sweetheart..............

then also i was shivering when i redialed.......
"the relience number u are calling has been switched off.....call later".........
for the first time i injoyed that voice like a melody.....
i ogled at my husband through the tears which filled my eyes even without my knowledge......
he was calm,subtle stood from the bed and started removing his shirt..

no more talks took place between us........

but his silence spoke volumes..........

i felt it as a cool breeze heralds a tornado.........

innersence warns me again.....
"FUUUL STOOOOOOOOP UUUUUUUUUUUUU FOOOOOOOOOOOL"

thx
MOHINI ANTONY

This is the second time my BOSS is asking me..............earlier also one year back when our project was started in DUBAI he asked me the same question.........
"Would u like to work there ZEENA?"......
that time it was even unimaginable for me.........
to leave my family here n go...........
but when he asked last day again............i don't know why ...........i was happy to tell him that..........
let me ask ANTONY ,if he agrees im ready sir............
dont know how my mind changed?
i want to go away from here?
wat happened to me?
can i live there happily without seeing my family?
BOSS also was surprised....
"ok this time u became more practical ZEENA.
good going.........ok i hope ur husband wont tell a NO...
Anyways,let me kno ur decision soon,i have to do the arrangements"
yup
that may be the reason,i became more practical and money minded..........
yes
as BOSS commented, i myself like to comment on me,
"GOOD GOING.KEEP IT UP ZEENA"
ha ha ha.........
thx
mohini antony.

What went wrong in my friend's life?.....born n brought up in a very wealthy n well educated back ground..........
liberally grown with very open and caring parents..........
educated from one of the premium schools in the city...............
very brilliant in studies and a top scorer in the school  and college .........
achieved laurels and compliments where ever she go.
and above all one who is immensly bestowed  with the most precious gift of god to a woman..........
which attracts anyone to her ,thats her CHARM N BEAUTY.........
nothing more to tell that was she our favourite Sandra when we were in college together........
it was on her marriage that i saw her  ,after that last week after a long gap of nearly 10 years............
she is totally changed.......from her talks i could understand one thing that she is on the verge of a Divorce.the case was filed by none other than her husband........now she is in this town for her son's education.......she is living in a flat near by,and one of her uncle is helping her here.....
Below mentioning r some of the reasons she put forward for the divorce.
1.her husband is overattached  to his family especialy to his Mother.
2.he abuse her a lot after boozing.
3.he is over attached to one of his friends.
4.late night leaving her alone he goes out,she doesnt know where he goes.
5.he complaints that his wife is not sexy n good for nothing.
they were living in a foriegn country all these days,recenly they came n settled in his own house,n later to a rented house,then when problems started she moved  to her own house in her hometown n he shifted to his own house.thus they were seperated.that time the child was only 2yrs
she stayed all these days with her parents,but had to come n settle here for her son's education.
things were going smooth,her son got admission in a very gud school,she got a small job,her mother came n stays with her. she was quite happy till she recieved the divorce petition from her husband.
it was quet unexpected and she is totaly unprepared for a divorce,she is telling that her intention was just to teach him a lesson, and she expected him coming back to her one day.............
but now its too late........she was weeping.......
seeing that i was recollecting my good old college friend .bold n beautiful Sndra shouting in debate sessions,like arrange marriage love marriage,joint family neuclear family ect.
and i remember she was always for arranged marriage n newclear family..........
anyways i consoled her that there ll be compromise talks before a divorce she can express her willingness to live with him.but  now she is not ready for that she tells if he doesnt want me i also dont want him...........ha ha.........i was happy seeing my BOLD SANDRA back.........but her beauty?.........its highly connected with her life na?..........it comes from within na..........when mind is happy,peacefull then only its projected on our body as beauty (i believe so)........sleepless nights,stressfull thoughts,tedious court sessions.......wat all headaches my friend has to suffer?.oh my god giv her strength n power to face the realities of life..........
thx
mohini antony         

LESSON 3VOCABULARY ENRICHMENT.
its a frequent question from many of the students "how to increase our word power?"
many of them stop their attempt to speak english only becuase of  not getting apt words while communicating ideas.when the flow is abruptted they feel so low n just withdraw or try to complete the rest in their  mothertoungue or just give up or escape and end up with frustration which may lead to a "surrendering".
here i would like to give u some small small sugessions which may help u to increase ur word power.
1.GET A THESAURUSS DICTIONARY.
here u will get atleast 3 words for each meaning full word.
eg:
ABANDON
give up
leave
quit
if u do u can manage the above mentioned situation with words in ur stock.
i know it very well,its not practical to learn 3 words at a steach n store n then remember at the most needy moments.what u can do is learn the most simple word meaning first,u will find it very interesting to note the fact that the meaning of a tuff word is commonly used in our day to day talks.so the word is rare but the meaning is highly used.we learn the word last knew its meaning first.
so dont get upset about your ignorance when u read  a new word first.onething u keep in mind,words r not to simply impress or hoodwink anyone but to convey our ideas and communicate with each other.so try to use maximum simple n common words,dont try to camoefage anyone with ur bombastic vocabularies.so when u read a news paper u may come across with a lot of new words find out the meanings,apply the most common meaning ful word in ur conversations,store the other meaning as a bystander,keep the root word for situations where u can produce it n shine.
some of my students comes to me sometimes asking for this kinda NERVERACKING and OUTSTANDING words for their...FABULOUS and FUNDABULOUS stage shows and performances.i advise them to read advertisements.most of the ad captions n logos are so attractive n proffessional.expertism behind is well projected in some of them.not all.so friends be carefull.
NEXT STEP IS 'SHARING'
Its highly practical in groups.Especialy in class rooms.sit in a circle,let one start with a new word along with meaning,next one repeat thesame word with its meaning,after that contribute his/her word n meaning,next one again repeat..........so the greatest benifit of this kinda method is 'ON SPOT LEARNING,if there r 10 ,they get how many words at a streach?that too while each one is repeating the others(if they r good liseners and graspers)theey can easily byheart 10 words along with meanings on one sitting itself .this practise is A MEMMORY ENHANCEMENT in itself.normally wen i giv this activity in the class room,all of them want to start first,they n knew being last oooooops,ll put them in soups..........
ok this much for today..............
thx
urs
ZEENA ANTONY.

some of my inlanders do not believe me......they think im dreaming..........
nothing to say...........
believe or not but things i have written r 101% pure.......
wats happening in my life...........
im not at all a writter........
not trying to be one......
becos i kno it verywell..its 'NOT MY CUP OF TEA'..........
we have a lot of really skilled and talented people  for that..........
why should me like an 'empty vessel'even attemt for that?.........
i started writing blogs very recently only...........
i wanted a space where i can scribble my own life happenings........
that too wen i found my life "happening"..........
so there is no need for 'dream n imagination'...........
WHATEVER I HAVE WRITTEN,WRITING AND GOING TO WRITE R TRUTH ONLY..
u can believe if u r ready to believe.......
special thanks for ur comments.........
especially those who understand me..believe me.thx a lot......
thx
mohini antony.

oh my god,oh my god......
he is putting restrictions on me..........

nomore conjugal relationship with my husband.........

he wont allow his gf mating with anyone other than him.......

how can i?..........

how can i deny sex to my husband...........?

yea,its becoming dangerous.....im realizing......

he is telling"if its that necessary for you ,u come with me i ll give,otherwise wait till i come back..........

WHAT SHOULD I SAY?.........

AGAIN LIES............

like....."ok baba no more... now onwards i ll deny it to my husband without any reason ,ok?......he ll be happy.........and i can hav it with my husband....BULLSHITT..

WATS HAPPENING TO ME?

WERE IM I GOING?

now i must be cheating"MYSELF"...

Ayyo.....appa....

NO,NO,NO..........

I hear an alarm  near by........

stop........stop.........


this time its neither from my husband nor from friends.........

its from within........its a wake up call.....

my innersense calls me......

hei ZEENA,dont kill urself....

just stop ur day dreaming......be honest to urself......otherwise u cant injoy neither ur present nor ur future.....

leave him....or go with him......

yup,i must take a decision.
that too on "warfoot"...........
thx
mohini antony

lesson-2Today i would like to give u some tips on self study................
first step
READING
As far as a beginer is concerned,reading and undertanding is not so easy,but it can be done easy through practice.if they read regularly,they can grasp.to start with according to me daily newspaper is the best.that makes u femiliar with all tenses,structures.usages,new words ect ect.
while reading news paper, please mind one thing.first read for read sake.dont go n search each word meaning in the dictionary it ll defenitely make your reading 'Dull and Monotonous" and u ll defenitely end up with task very soon and some times it may create an aversion.so first u just read and try to grasp.be happy with what u understood and don't get apset about what u not understood till u be femiliar and fluent in reading a  news paper of different language.if u r a regular reader of any vernacular it wont take much effort and time to comprehend,once u r tamed with the pattern and style of writting of a news paper u ll get the flow easily.after that only u go for vocabulary cheking n enrichment.by that time it becomes a habbit with u n u ll find it interesting.
Next thing regarding reading a news paper is SELECTION .i mean ur interest.select according to ur choice.if u r much interested in politics go for it.if its sports select tha page,if its about flix,go ahead.dont bother about other things which u don like to read.if u try deliberately to read n understand it ll again make lazy in reading.im pointing out all these minute details simply because i know a lot of my own students compromise with news paper only for lack of  selection.they go far n wide and try to read and understand evry knook n corner of a paper n reali missing there main aim to cultivate a habbit of reading english for learning .
i wont recomment any other stuffs like short stories,novels.magazines in the begining stage.
the advantages of a news paper as i told earlier r plenty.
first of all its availability.u get it so easily at ur door.and next is its mobility.if u don have time keep it in ur bag read it wen u r free.there was a time most of the news paper language was so dictionaric and reali hard nut to crack .but now a days they use the most simple language to make it more costomer friendly.so its highly dependable and reccomented even for a beginer in the language.
lastly its veriety.nowadays most of the dailies come along with very interesting supliments which highly satiates the intelectual taste of different  level of readers.its informative and entertaining.choice is urs.no matter what u read but how much u could read n aprehend becuase as a learner your moto is  to enhance ur English make sure wether u keep on the habbit of reading.
ok guys this much only for today,see u next time same platform till then bye from
ZEENA MAM.